Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
