Sponge bath it is.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize