Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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