There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
