I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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