...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
