Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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