she woke up with a sticky ear
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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