So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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