he puts the penis in happiness.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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