I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
