If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize