what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
