Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
