Just fell off a train. Bad.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
