there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize