Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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