and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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