Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
