I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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