You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
