Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
