I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
