Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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