So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
