Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
