hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
