well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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