I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize