I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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