all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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