Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
