does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
