I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
