How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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