it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We have started to decorate penises.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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