After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
