How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
