My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I've blown a few things in my day
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
