You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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