big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
