No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I need a beard to bite.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
