Well douche your snatch and let's go!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
