Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
