At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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