Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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