Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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