OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
