So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
