I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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