There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
