my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
