I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
