Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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