Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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