he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
