i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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