It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
