yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
