you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My breasts were aching with rage.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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