but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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