Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
