I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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